


Not the only one

by dreamerinheaven



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, Idiots in Love, Insecure Ianto Jones, Insecurity, Jack Has Feelings, Jack can be sweet if he wants to be, M/M, accidential love confession, shameless fluff, slight jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 10:18:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15579768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamerinheaven/pseuds/dreamerinheaven
Summary: “I’m so stupid.”, he whispered to Jacks lifeless body. “I knew from the start that this wouldn’t be a relationship and yet I went and did the one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. I fell in love with you.”





	Not the only one

It had been almost two days by now.

Jacks body was already beginning to feel cold. Ianto felt the looks the others were giving him from across the Hub but he didn’t even care. His hands were shaking while he kept caressing his cheek, running his fingers through his hair, anything really to just keep touching him, almost as if he could will him back to life like that.

There was a small, petty part of him that felt glad that it had been him who had been the first at Jacks side. He wondered if Gwen would’ve tried to keep him away from him again if it had been her.

He liked Gwen, she was his friend and his colleague and out in the field he would trust her with his life but god, every time she gave Jack these looks he felt like he was about to combust from pure jealousy.

“I’m so stupid.”, he whispered to Jacks lifeless body. “I knew from the start that this wouldn’t be a relationship and yet I went and did the one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. I fell in love with you.” A sad, quiet laugh escaped his lips, “But then again, I doubt there are many people out there who met you and haven’t fallen at least a little bit in love with you so I guess it’s not completely my fault.” He shook his head. “I would never tell you this when you can hear me. I know you don’t love me and that’s okay. Really, Jack, it is. I made my peace with that a while ago. And I don’t blame you. Feelings were never part of our agreement and I would hate it if you felt bad for me. Stupid Ianto, falling in love with someone as magnificent and greater than life as you.”

He was sure the others thought so too. Probably with a good amount of pity, especially from Tosh, but still.

He forced himself to take a deep breath. “I know you don’t love me.”, he repeated himself softly, “Not the way I want you to at least. But I **_have_** you. And if I can make coming back from death less lonely and cold for you…if I’m the one you confide in and who you fall asleep next to…then maybe that can be enough.”

 Before he could say anything else Jack suddenly gasped for air and came back to life, seemingly automatically clinging to Ianto.

“It’s okay, Jack.”, he whispered softly, “You’re okay, you’re safe, you’re in the Hub.”

He felt how Jacks body slowly began to relax and he heard the others running up to them, but he wasn’t quite ready to let go yet and Jack didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get out of his arms either so he stayed where he was.

 

Later, much later, when he was lying in Jacks bed, in Jacks arms, his head resting on his chest and Jacks fingers caressing his back, he caught himself almost blurting out a very similar confession to the one he gave Jack earlier, when he was dead.

Dead for almost two days.

“I thought this was it.”, he mumbled against his lover’s chest, his voice slightly trembling “I thought your luck had run out and you were dead for good.”

He felt Jacks hand freeze before he wrapped his arms around him.

“I’m here.”, he heard him whisper into his hair, “I’m sorry for scaring you.”

He felt Jack press a kiss onto his head and pull him a little bit closer, gentle and almost loving in a way the rest of the Team probably would never suspect him to be capable of.

_How can you treat me like this and expect me to not fall in love with you?_

The thought was there before he could force it away by sheer force of will but before he could contemplate it Jack seemed to completely freeze and Ianto felt like someone had just punched him in the gut.

He did not just say that out loud hadn’t he?

He had _not_ just told Jack bloody Harkness that he’s half in love with him already.

“What?”

Jacks voice sounded soft, almost vulnerable and a part of Ianto knew that this was his way of giving him a way out, to make something up, to pretend that he hadn’t said anything.

But he wasn’t that much of a coward. Not anymore. Or at least he liked to think that.

So he took up all the courage he had left and freed himself enough out of Jacks embrace to look him in the eyes.

It was now or nothing, and also probably the last time he would ever be in this bed, in his arms.

“I’m sorry, Jack. I know this isn’t what we agreed on when we started – this.”, he whispered, not breaking eye contact. “I love you. I’m in love with you. And before you say anything, I need you to know that I don’t expect anything from you. You were very clear right from the beginning and it’s not your fault that I went and fell in love with you, so – please don’t feel bad?”

Jack just stared up with him. It was obvious that he hadn’t expected a love confession.

“I just –“, Ianto continued and a part of him knew he was rambling at this point but everything was better than his lovers shocked silence, “After everything that happened, I want – no, I _need_ you to know how loved you are, Jack. Because you are. You are **so** loved and you _deserve_ to feel loved and –“

A pair of warm lips on his interrupted him. Jack was kissing him. After everything he had just said Jack was still willing to kiss him.

And what a kiss that was. Ianto felt it from the top of his head to the tips of his toes and couldn’t help but whimper, his fingers finding their way into Jacks hair.

“Ianto.”, Jack whispered against his lips, his name almost sounding like a prayer, “You’re not the only one who’s falling.”

Ianto abruptly opened his eyes and found Jack already looking at him. There was a softness and a wonder in his eyes that hadn’t been there before.

Or maybe it had been and he just hadn’t noticed it until now.

It hadn’t been an “I love you, too” but it had been an admission of feelings that Ianto hadn’t thought possible and he felt like his heart might explode from pure happiness.

Without wasting another second, he quickly pulled Jack into another kiss.

_You’re not the only one who’s falling._

 


End file.
